during and after a Dark Room process of 21 days
My deepest gratitude to my beloved Amma
and Bhagavan for the 21 days dark room
process after which I am totally
liberated from my mind.
The entire process lasted for 24 days,
of which twenty one days in the dark
room and three days normal process. I
entered the process thinking something
would happen…I was in search of
something…which I felt would manifest
with the culmination of the process.
The room was pitch dark with no light
whatsoever. I could not even see my
fingers. Many a times I would wet my
clothes while using the washroom. It
would be that dark. The room would be
locked with one key given to me in case
of emergency and the body is not able to
go through the process.
I was supposed to be in the same dress
without changing it. I was almost
without taking bath and brushing the
teeth for full twenty-one days. I was on
liquid diet, like lemon juice and plain
Lord told my wife it is like the saints
doing penance in the dark caves. Only
difference was I was not meditating or
rather I was not able to.
Guides told me this process is like you
are in the heart of Amma Bhagavan.
I would sing bhajans and dance in the
room during which many a times I got
hurt hitting the cot.
When tired I would go to sleep. After
waking up it will be dark again. I would
not know whether it is day or night how
much time I slept or how many days
It was like one to one encounter with
The struggle of the self to survive was
evident from the way it was trying to
hold on to the emotions and thoughts.
Lot of ugly thoughts would surface.
I was made to experience fully all the
inexperienced emotions, situations and
events in my life. This I was told was
Bhagavan’s way of removing all the
recurring patterns and charges of
leftover emotional issues from the root.
During the process I had severe pain on
my left shoulder. I had to lie down
either on my back or on my right side.
It was becoming unbearable.
I told the guide about this and the pain
vanished without any medications within
Even though the room was very dark my
eyes were emitting light in that dark
Most of the time the ceiling would be
like star lit sky. Many stars used to
twinkle inside the dark room.
Once Sri Bhagavan came inside the room
in astral body and assured me of his
presence during the process. As we were
conversing some body asked from outside
as to whom I was talking and Bhagavan
slowly faded away.
After the process my search ended… I
realized there was nothing to search.
As Sri Bhagavan often used to say that
man’s life is like a blind man searching
for a non existent black cat in a dark
All of Lord’s mukthi teachings have
become my personal experience and
So I have realized there is nothing to
search. Everything is perfect as it is.
Everything is Shoonya…nothingness..
The content has disappeared..!!!
The content has to disappear..then
container will automatically
Like the pillow. When the soft cotton
inside is removed only the pillow cover
remains..pillow disappears. This is
This is Zero. Shoonyam. The nothing
state. You are one with everything all
that is. No duality. Real Oneness.. all
human beings are united..World comes
under one umbrella called ONENESS and
the supreme source for this phenomenal
transformation is Sri Amma Bhagavan…!!!
Thoughts don’t bother me anymore.. It
is like weak person afflicted with
cholera and diarrhea , jaundice etc. ..
very weak with no power to influence me
in any way. I can see it powerless and
weak and helpless in front of me..
No thoughts, no interference of mind.
Always in the present….
No commentary and no judgement..mind is
no longer labeling
Senses have become greatly sharp…kind of
When one sees one is only seeing…
hearing there is only hearing..
I am like a vast lake and the thoughts
are like small pebbles thrown into the
lake, hardly making any ripples.
Only auspicious thoughts are
there….like the place of origin( mind)
of these thoughts have become pure and
Everything is happening automatically…
Don’t feel hurt anymore…hurt is like ten
feet away from me..
Feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘I’
has vanished…Raghavan is no more there..
There is nothing to become…
Everything is shoonyam….there is nothing
All that is there is witnessing…without
any judgment…without any sorrow or
joy..pure consciousness ..GOD…
The head and heart is empty..shoonyam..
There is no God to be searched..
believer and non believer both are same
as of now.. everything is perfect as it
What is there is God…Satchidananda
Parabrahma.. but that also as shoonyam..
Need sleep only for four hours..
There is nothing to know… nothing to
search..there is no self…
Knowing self means knowing there is no
No more seeking is there…no
attachement..no excitement..no joy no
Everything still …inside..
You are born to die… what is left is
shoonyam..the divine makes life
meaningful and purposeful.
Karmas are attributed to sufferings..no
sufferings means karma vimochana has
There are no needs or wants now..
nothing is required.. how can nothing
ask for something..?? Nothing Needs
Everything is automatic…
The other day somebody was telling you
The fact is there is a deep clam within
me…a deep silence inside..very serene
Normally people chatter when
restless…which again people
misunderstand as exuberance. when
somebody is silent they think there is
something disturbing going on within
that person ,hence he is quiet and
For a person affected with Jaundice
everything looks yellow. Unhappy people
can only see unhappiness and give
unhappiness to others…
Somebody asked me the other day ,have
you made it..?? Have you finally got
Made what..?? Got what..??
There is nothing to get..nothing to
become…there is no race.. there are no
runners… no medals… no touchline or
finishing point… no winners no losers..
People say you must have become powerful
now…I laugh within..
Becoming powerless is
powerful…everything is shoonyam..there
is nothing to achieve or gain…
There is no urge to talk..but when one
speaks words become live with power
..people listen…as the words are not
from the mind…
There is no pressure of time…no urgency
of doing anything… how can nothing do
One enjoys doing nothing for hours and
sit still…my wife was asking how can you
just sit like that without doing
Because everything is shoonyam…nothingness…being
in nothingness itself is stillness and
stillness is peace…bliss…there is no
But whatever one does , one does it very
efficiently…what someone else would take
eight hours , one would take only half
an hour…it is that efficient..
Since everything is done perfectly she
has accepted the transformation which
has happened for good..
There is no sense of acheivement..one is
aware one is playing the role assigned
by Amma Bhagavan…he can do anything..he
I silently play the role assigned to
me…whatever small role being given..
You do any job, it has great
impact..because it is perfectly done…you
know you are the perfect person to do
You were imperfect…now you are perfect..
Yet there is no imperfectness or
perfectness…nothing matters… everything
is okay and fine…
As I was walking down the busy street ,
I realized inspite of the noise of all
the busy traffic, street hawkers, autos,
children playing etc there was absolute
silence…nothing was disturbing the deep
silence within… one could hear one’s
footsteps very distinctly…only the
footsteps…nothing else..how more deep
the silence can be..??
When you become nothing, you become
everything and everything is again
nothing…it is like peeling off an
If everybody becomes nothing then the
world becomes a real paradise. Nothing
means real give and take. No border, no
dispute, no rich and poor , all
problems easily solved…
Still the process is going on… voice is
low, walking is slow..everything is
slow..everything is happening
automatically and not mind
engineered..but efficiency is at its
peak. There are no needs..no wants..no
Even meditation is not required..
Prayers are not required…
The state is same as when in meditation
and when not meditating… it is constant
No need to pray to make things happen.
When I say it happens…When I think it
One person called me after the process
saying he tested positive for
He went again for a second opinion and
was confirmed of the TB..
He was dejected, depressed.
I asked him to go to TB research centre
in Chennai…and prayed for him…the result
came in negative…
He was crying…over the phone thanking
Such is the power of Amma Bhagavan..all
this has been given to me..On my own I
could not have got this…this has been
given to me by the Lord…The body and
mind is meant to do the Lords work…
wants to do the Lords work…
Deepest gratitude to Amma Bhagavan for
giving me this NOTHING state..making me
a NOTHING…If u say this is Jeevan Muktha
state,say as u wish because I don’t
know,don’t want to know.
I shall play any role asked to play by
my beloved Amma Bhagavan..for this body
and soul belongs to them for their
Anantha Kodi Namaskarams & Padapranams
to my beloved shri Amma Bhagavan..!!!