Experiences during and after a Dark Room process of 21 days

by Raghavan

My deepest gratitude to my beloved Amma and Bhagavan for the 21 days dark room process after which I am totally liberated from my mind.

The entire process lasted for 24 days, of which twenty one days in the dark room and three days normal process. I entered the process thinking something would happen…I was  in search of something…which I felt would manifest with  the culmination of the process.

The room was pitch dark with no light whatsoever. I could not even see my fingers. Many a times I would wet my clothes while using the washroom. It would be that dark. The room would be locked with one key given to me in case of emergency and the body is not able to go through the process.

I was supposed to be in the same dress without changing it. I was almost without taking bath and brushing the teeth for full twenty-one days. I was on liquid diet, like lemon juice and plain water.

Lord told my wife it is like the saints doing penance in the dark caves. Only difference was I was not meditating or rather I was not able to.

Guides told me this process is like you are in the heart of Amma Bhagavan.

I would sing bhajans and dance in the room during which many a times I got hurt hitting the cot.

When tired I would go to sleep. After waking up it will be dark again. I would not know whether it is day or night how much time I slept or how many days passed.

It was like one to one encounter with the self.

The struggle of the self to survive was evident from the way it was trying to hold on to the emotions and thoughts. Lot of ugly thoughts would surface.

I was made to experience fully all the inexperienced emotions, situations and events in my life. This I was told was Bhagavan’s way of removing all the recurring patterns and charges of leftover emotional issues from the root.

During the process I had severe pain on my left shoulder. I had to lie down either on my back or on my right side. It was becoming unbearable.

I told the guide about this and the pain vanished without any medications within three hours.

Even though the room was very dark my eyes were emitting light in that dark room.

Most of the time the ceiling would be like star lit sky. Many stars used to twinkle inside the dark room.

Once Sri Bhagavan came inside the room in astral body and assured me of his presence during the process. As we were conversing some body asked from outside as to whom I was talking and Bhagavan slowly faded away.

After the process my search ended… I realized there was nothing to search.

As Sri Bhagavan often used to say that man’s life is like a blind man searching for a non existent black cat in a dark room.

All of Lord’s mukthi teachings have become my personal experience and personal truths.

So I have realized there is nothing to search. Everything is perfect as it is.

Everything is Shoonya…nothingness..

The content has disappeared..!!!

The content has to disappear..then container will automatically disappear..!!!

Like the pillow. When the soft cotton inside is removed only the pillow cover remains..pillow disappears. This is inner death.

This is Zero. Shoonyam. The nothing state. You are one with everything all that is. No duality. Real Oneness.. all human beings are united..World comes under one umbrella called ONENESS and the supreme source for this phenomenal transformation is Sri Amma Bhagavan…!!!

Thoughts don’t bother me anymore.. It is like weak person afflicted with cholera and diarrhea , jaundice etc. .. very weak with no power to influence me in any way. I can see it powerless and weak and helpless in front of me..

No thoughts, no interference of mind. Always in the present….

No commentary and no judgement..mind is no longer labeling

Senses have become greatly sharp…kind of separate..

When one sees one is only seeing… hearing there is only hearing..

I am like a vast lake and the thoughts are  like  small pebbles thrown into the lake, hardly making any ripples.

Only auspicious thoughts are there….like  the place of origin( mind) of these thoughts have become pure and auspicious.

Everything is happening automatically…

Don’t feel hurt anymore…hurt is like ten feet away from me..

Feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘I’ has vanished…Raghavan is no more there..

There is nothing to become…

Everything is shoonyam….there is nothing anywhere..

All that is there is witnessing…without any judgment…without any sorrow or joy..pure consciousness ..GOD…

The  head and heart is empty..shoonyam..

There is no God to be searched.. believer and non believer both are same as of  now.. everything is perfect as it is.. shoonyam..!!!

What is there is God…Satchidananda Parabrahma.. but that also as shoonyam..

Need sleep only for four hours..

There is nothing to know… nothing to search..there is no self…

Knowing self means knowing there is no self..

No more seeking is there…no attachement..no excitement..no joy no sorrow..

Everything still …inside..

You are born to die… what is left is shoonyam..the divine makes life meaningful and purposeful.

Karmas are attributed to sufferings..no sufferings means karma vimochana has happened.

There are no needs or wants now.. nothing is required.. how can nothing ask for something..?? Nothing Needs Nothing.

Everything is automatic…

The other day somebody was telling you look sad...

The fact is there is a deep clam within me…a deep silence inside..very serene and peaceful…

Normally people chatter when restless…which again people misunderstand as exuberance. when somebody is silent they think  there is something disturbing going on within that person ,hence he is quiet and introspective….

For a person affected with Jaundice everything looks yellow. Unhappy people can only see unhappiness and give unhappiness to others…

Somebody asked me the other day ,have you made it..?? Have you finally got it..?

Made what..?? Got what..??

There is nothing to get..nothing to become…there is no race.. there are no runners… no medals… no touchline or finishing point… no winners no losers..

People say you must have become powerful now…I laugh within..

Becoming powerless is powerful…everything is shoonyam..there is nothing to achieve or gain…

There is no urge to talk..but when one speaks words become live with power ..people listen…as the words are not from the mind…

There is no pressure of time…no urgency of doing anything… how can nothing do anything…???

One enjoys doing nothing for hours  and sit still…my wife was asking how can you just sit like that without doing something… still..?

Because everything is shoonyam…nothingness…being in nothingness itself is stillness and stillness is peace…bliss…there is no energy spent..

But whatever one does , one does it very efficiently…what someone else would take eight hours , one would take only half an hour…it is that efficient..

Since everything is done perfectly she has  accepted the transformation which has happened for good..

There is no sense of acheivement..one is aware one is playing the role assigned by Amma Bhagavan…he  can do anything..he is  swayambu..!!!

I silently play the role assigned to me…whatever small role being given..

You do any job, it has great impact..because it is perfectly done…you know you are the perfect person to do the job…efficiently…

You were imperfect…now you are perfect..

Yet there is no imperfectness or perfectness…nothing matters… everything is okay and fine…

As I was walking down the busy street , I realized inspite of the noise of all the busy traffic, street hawkers, autos, children playing etc there was absolute silence…nothing was disturbing the deep silence within… one could hear one’s footsteps very distinctly…only the footsteps…nothing else..how more deep the silence can be..??

When you become nothing, you become everything and everything is again nothing…it is like peeling off an onion..

If everybody becomes nothing then the world becomes a real paradise. Nothing means real give and take. No border, no dispute, no  rich and poor , all problems easily solved…

Still the process is going on… voice is low, walking is slow..everything is slow..everything is happening automatically and not mind engineered..but efficiency is at its peak. There are no needs..no wants..no requirement…

Even meditation is not required.. Prayers are not required…

The state is same as when in meditation and when not meditating… it is constant meditation…

No need to pray to make things happen. When I say it happens…When I think it happens…

One person called me after the process saying he tested positive for Tuberculosis.

He went again for a second opinion and was confirmed of the TB..

He was dejected, depressed.

I asked him to go to TB research centre in Chennai…and prayed for him…the result came in negative…

He was crying…over the phone thanking Amma Bhagavan…

Such is the power of Amma Bhagavan..all this has been given to me..On my own  I could not have got this…this has been given to me by the Lord…The body and mind is meant to do the Lords work… wants to do the Lords work…

Deepest gratitude to Amma Bhagavan for giving me this NOTHING state..making me a NOTHING…If u say this is Jeevan Muktha state,say as u wish because I don’t know,don’t want to know.

I shall play any role asked to play by my beloved Amma Bhagavan..for this body and soul belongs to them for their service..

Anantha Kodi Namaskarams & Padapranams to my beloved shri Amma Bhagavan..!!!