Sri Bhagavan Conference Rio, Brazil December 5, 2009

Videolinks:
part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfSR6J9AL4c
 
part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21kK08fKpsA

Q1: Why does it feel so difficult to set the relationships right with ones own family? Is it karma? Is it lack of detachment? Could you tell us about family and collective karma and what to do about it?
 
Bhagavan: Yes.. This problem of relationship must be handled at three levels. At the first level, you could use the teachings. Now, very often we have bad relationships because we have been conditioned wrongly and we do not have certain insights. So the teaching would help you there.
 
For example, the teaching says, to have good relationship, start with yourself, not with the other. See who you are, accept yourself as you are and love yourself as you are. When this happens, very naturally the other person would see you as you are, would accept you as you are, would love you as you are.

I'll give you an example for this. Some time ago a couple came to meet us and they had very bad relationship. So the lady said "this man is a drunkard and I can not live with him" and the man said "she's a flirt and I can not live with her". That was their problem. So we told them, "Look. Here we do not work on the other, we work on oneself". So we took up the case of the flirt and we said "Look, we are not going to transform him, who's a drunkard. We're going to transform you. So what you should do is, see, look into yourself as to why you are a flirt. First see that. Having seen that, accept that, "yes I am a flirt". Accept it. Once you accept it, you will start loving yourself. "Yes, I am a flirt. This is what I am" and you fall in love with yourself.
 
Now when this happens, very naturally, we were actually working with her, she began to see that man as he is, as to why he is behaving the way he is behaving, she accepted him as he is and she loved him as he is. She did not ask that he must give up drinking. Because she accepted herself and fell in love with herself, she accepted him and loved him. That happened to her.
 
The drunkard on the other hand, he was looking into himself, he saw why he was drinking, that he is a drunkard, he accepted that and he fell in love with himself. Once he did that, he could also accept her as a flirt and accept and love her also. Now, we did not change the flirt into something else nor the drunkard into something else. They accepted themselves, therefore they could accept each other. But something strange happened after that, after that she ceased to be a flirt and he ceased to be a drunkard. But our objective was only to help them accept themselves and love themselves. So teaching can help like that.
 
The other thing is, in relationships we build up images. Suppoose you get married, you start building up images about your wife and the wife about the husband. It can happen between any two people. Thereafter, the images start relating and you stop experiencing the person. Then also, relationship dies. So in many, many ways, teachings can help you. But that is still only the first level.
 
Sometimes whatever you might do, the mind gets stuck. It will be playing the record again and again and again. For 20 years you will be repeating the same thing without any change. That also destroys the relationship. You'll say "10 years ago you did this, 20 years ago you did this", the record goes on and on and on. To stop that, you must get a powerful deeksha, which can shift the mind into another dimension. There deeksha comes into play and helps you.
 
Now that also may not work always, in which case you must have to go into karma. Karma would mean, what happened at the moment of conception, what were your mother's thoughts when you were being carried in the womb, what happened in the womb and how exactly were you delivered, the first six hours after delivery and sometimes you may have to go into past lives. So, at that level we can solve any problem.
 
So first you start applying the teaching, next you try deeksha. If the teaching dissolves it, fine. Otherwise, use deeksha. If that does not work, then move on to find out karma. For karma, all that you must do is, you must relax well. Move into the hypnagogic state, the state between waking and sleep. Move into that state. Take a blessing from the Sri Murti and say "Please AmmaBhagavan, show me where the problem is". We will rewind the tape and we'll exactly show you what went wrong where. We'll pinpoint the problem, that is your karma, and then we'll rework it. Once we rework it, the entire thing will start off in just 24 hours. So that is how you handle the problem of relationships. Step by step you have got to move. In the forthcoming skypes, I'll go much deeper into this. Now we'll go for short answers. I'll move for the second question now, please.

Q2:Some people when trying to experience the pain, it seems that they are only analyzing it, not experiencing it. How to sit with the problem without analysis being triggered? What should we do to get out of the mind and go deeper inside the heart?
 
Bhagavan: Yes.. see, the problem with humanity, and especially modern civilisation, is we have stopped experiencing things. We hardly experience anything, leave alone suffering. Nothing is being experienced. When you drink a glass of water, you're not experiencing it. The mind is still working. You think about what happened yesterday, what's going to happen tomorrow, you're worrying about something or enjoying something, but not experiencing that drinking of the glass of water. While you eat, you do not experience what you're eating. When you brush your teeth, you do not experience what is going on.
 
At every level you have stopped experiencing reality. So what we must do is, we must start with basic, fundamental things, like sitting for some time everyday watching the body breathe. It's a marvelous experience. You must watch the body breathe. You should go for walks and be intensely aware of your walk, see what all the body is doing. And then your food.
 
Start with external, physical things. This can go on for about 21 days. Then slowly move into the inner world. There, first of all, try to see what is really going on. What you call a problem is only a created problem. The real problem is deep inside, which you refuse to see. But if you were to practice inner integrity you will see what is going on. You would discover a strange world inside you. It's a horrifiying, terrible world. It requires a lot of courage to see who you really are. Not condemning it, not judging it, not giving explanations.
 
Once you do that, thereafter, when pain comes, you will be able to experience that pain. And the strangest thing is, as you really experience it.. that is, the mind will try to escape, will try to condemn, will try to judge, it will give explanations, run after pleasure or suddenly jump on to some other thought - it will try to escape you. If you watch it escaping, if you have done all the previous practices and you watch it, experiencing, you will suddenly discover that you're experiencing suffering and in moments you'll see it converts itself into joy. Something very amazing happens. It looks difficult, but it is not really difficult. If you start with the physical experiences and inner integrity, it becomes quite easy. Thousands of people have done this all over the world and I'll give you a special blessing whereby it becomes very, very easy for you. That's the answer for the second question. So now shall we move to the third question?

Q3: Beloved Bhagavan, we miss Amma. Could You please tell us, how She feels about all this process? We feel Her presence. We are used to contact
Her by thought, by heart, and now You are so human, so close and available for us, and She remains not available by video. Could You tell us something about her?
 
Bhagavan: Yes.. the recent events, to some extent, have pained me and also Amma. But our pain is not personal. We do not have anything as personal pain. Our pain is only that the work is getting affected, things are getting delayed, that is our pain. So, Amma and I both went through that pain. We are now free of the pain. Amma is very, very happy that we are now free to interact with the whole world and that we are pushing things through very, very fast. That will make up for lost time. She is very, very happy. And as we move into longer meditations, right now we're only preparing you, probably next month or in february, we'll be going into deeper meditations to lift your consciousness powerfully. At that time she will join me. Together we'll be working with you. Then you will be able to see her on the video, very, very soon. So full blessings to you.
 
Rio, Brazil: Oh! Thank you Bhagavan! Please, send our love to Amma!
 
Bhagavan: I will communicate. So shall we now go for a 3 minute meditation?
 
Rio, Brazil: Yes, Bhagavan. Thank you very much! Please give your blessings to our new deekshagivers.
 
Bhagavan: I will give them. I love them all. I will give them a strong blessing.
 
*Meditation*
 
Bhagavan: Love you all. Love you, Bhaskarji. Thank you all. Thank you Bhaskarji.
 
Rio, Brazil: We love you, we love you, we love you!
 
Bhagavan: Thank you, thank you..