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My Oneness Process:

An End to Personal Suffering,

the Dawn of Causeless Joy

By Rev. Dr. Michael Milner

I have been on the Spiritual Path for more than 35 years, and now, my life is VERY sweet. But for 15 years I SUFFERED! During that time I lost almost everything and everyone that mattered to me. The hardest part was the destruction of my ideas about my “self” and about the Divine. I believed that I was a saintly enlightened being, serving God and others with unselfish, unconditional love. For years I had been filled with the Divine Light, and I had no idea there was so much “selfishness” remaining, so many assumptions. Then, 15 years ago, the Light was eclipsed, I was plunged into the Dark Night and I saw the naked truth about myself. It wasn’t pretty.

This is my story: At age 17, I had a mystical awakening. Time stopped, I seemed to die, Light flooded my consciousness, and in an instant, I saw the past, present and future all at once. I saw other worlds and passed into the Light. It lasted for what seemed like hundreds of years, and then suddenly, to my surprise, I was back in my body and time started again. I retained only a small portion of what I had seen and realized then that the human brain and body in its present state cannot contain the energy of Full Awakening to Oneness.

A year later I became a direct disciple of the Chinese Taoist Grand Master & lineage holder of Tao Ahn Pai (Taoist Elixir Style) who taught me Taoist Meditation and Internal Alchemy. It raised my Kundalini to the crown of my head and down the front of the body to the base of the spine in a feedback loop, like the Ouroboros, the snake swallowing its tail. It felt like a million volts went through me, the world dissolved, and I held the universe in my hands as a Golden Ball of pure energy. I could not sleep for 6 months. All my senses were heightened. I could hear things at a great distance. I began to see auras and many other things. I experienced reality as a constantly changing sea of energy, and I learned to heal with my energy. In meditation, I passed out of my body and my thoughts. Looking back, I saw that I was not my body and I was not my thoughts. Looking forward, I dissolved into the luminous void, the ocean of pure consciousness. I became a Taoist Priest and studied the Internal Arts. But, the suffering “self” remained.

Over the years, I did extensive biofeedback training, yoga and meditation and spent time with numerous masters, mystics and shamans. I experienced Samadhi many times. I was initiated into the Tibetan Buddhist Kagyu tradition by Kalu Rinpoche. When Swami Muktananda gave me Shaktipat, my breathing stopped, my heart chakra exploded in brilliant light, and a voice within me said that God had always been within me as my True Self. I dissolved into the Om and passed into Nirvikalpa Samadhi. That was 35 years ago… After that, I wandered thousands of miles as a barefoot ascetic in a white robe, celibate, vegan, and vowed to poverty. I enjoyed a high state of consciousness, but nevertheless the suffering “self” still remained.

In 1978, I was taken up in the Spirit and met Jesus Christ face to face. He laid his hands on me and filled me with His Divine Spirit. He called me to serve Him and showed me wonderful things. I became an ordained minister, taught in a number of countries, healed the sick, experienced many miracles and gifts of the Spirit, founded churches and schools of ministry and ordained numerous ministers. Later, I became a Roman Catholic Franciscan and eventually a Free Catholic Franciscan Bishop. I am the chairman and co-founder of the International Free Catholic Communion, a spiritual home for people who, for various reasons, are alienated from institutional religion and the mainstream Church.

For 25 years, my passion has been healing, teaching and guiding people on the path of Spiritual Growth and Contemplative Prayer (or Christian Meditation). I have also continued to teach Taoist Meditation and Qigong for 35 years.

My life was full of Light, Spiritual Blessings and fulfillment. I never dreamed of what was about to happen. When I least expected it, my life began to simply fall apart. Everything went wrong. I was plunged into the Dark Night of the Soul, and for 15 years I SUFFERED as my ideas about myself and God were shattered! For a number of years, I was bitter. I raged and struggled. But, gradually I learned to accept “what is”: my own ugliness and suffering, to embrace it and to simply rest in silence and emptiness. I never expected the suffering to come to an end, but at least I began to be at peace with it in the present moment.

Then the miracle of transformation began! A friend of mine who was familiar with the Oneness Movement and had received Oneness Deeksha a number of times came to my home in Clearwater, Florida for a visit (It just happened to be Sri Bhagavan’s birthday). He told me about an Avatar in India who is able to transfer the permanent state of Awakening to Oneness through Oneness Blessing (also known as Oneness Deeksha), an intelligent energy which produces a profound neurobiological transformation in the brain. I said, “If that’s true, there is no distance in the Spirit, and a Divine Being like that has no limitations. Let’s pray and ask this Avatar to send us Oneness Deeksha right now!” Although there was no initiated Blessing Giver present, when my friend invoked the Divine Presence by chanting the moola mantra 3 times, instantly Bhagavan and Amma sent their Grace. The Divine Presence was poured out on us. I was lifted into a divine state of consciousness for 20 minutes or so and then plunged into the depths of the unconscious where I could feel the Divine bringing to awareness and beginning to heal the causes of my suffering! I knew it was absolutely unique the way the Oneness Deeksha energy lifted me into a higher state and then plunged me back into my base state, as well as the very tangible effect on my parietal lobes. It was just what I needed. But I wanted to make sure that what we had experienced was really Oneness Deeksha. Since I couldn’t find any Oneness Deeksha Givers in my area, I contacted Sri Raniji. She let me know that she would be in Florida in a few weeks. I attended both of her workshops and received Oneness Deeksha numerous times. It was definitely the same “Presence” we had experienced in my living room. The unique quality of it was unmistakable.

It’s not that this was some new Divine Presence in my life. I had lived with the awareness of the indwelling of God for many years. What was unique was the way the Oneness Deeksha Energy went to work rewiring the brain, slowing down the senses, de-clutching the mind and deeply healing the unconscious.

In the weeks and months that followed there were many miracles and visible signs of the effects of Oneness Deeksha. Bhagavan began to visit me in visions and speak to me in my heart. With much love and an amazing sense of humor he began to tell me that he already knew me quite well, that he was going to free me and Fully Awaken me to Oneness, healing me deep within, and that I would be coming to India. As I continued to receive Oneness Deekshas every week, bad habits and addictions began to simply fall away. My parietal lobes felt “fried” most of the time, but that was fine, because annoying thoughts and feelings couldn’t “stick” to me like they used to. My “Process” had already begun. A 12 minute Taoist breathing exercise I have done for many years every morning before meditation suddenly began to take 25 minutes for the same number of breaths. My breathing rate was cut in half! There were so many changes! Then, one day, the unthinkable happened.

During a Oneness Deeksha teleconference Raniji was teaching about “Suffering”. I was ready to be plunged more deeply into my own suffering, ready to embrace it and experience it more fully. Then Raniji sent Oneness Deeksha, and to my utter astonishment, MY PERSONAL SUFFERING DISAPPEARED! To this day it has not returned. I can still hardly believe it. It seems like a dream. I feel the suffering of the world. I share in that. But my personal suffering is gone. There may be conflict or sickness or some other annoyance, but even then I feel causeless peace and joy. Those painful memories, thoughts and aspects of personality have simply lost their “charge”. They just don’t cause suffering any more, because the “person” who suffered, the suffering “self”, is no longer there.

I was so truly deeply happy (I mean VERY VERY HAPPY!) before I ever left for the 21 Day Process that I didn’t really care if nothing else happened while I was in India. I was going to be initiated to give Oneness Deeksha, clear more unconscious debris, deepen my state and meet Amma, Bhagavan and the enlightened Guides (monks). I was already the happiest man on earth! What more could I possibly want? But it got even better.

The Guides, the Guides of the Oneness University, are amazing, enlightened, compassionate beings. Because they are enlightened and filled with unconditional love, they are the most skilled and effective spiritual directors I have ever encountered. I felt truly safe, loved, accepted, understood, protected and cared for in their hands. I felt as if they were my family, as if we had always known each other. It was love at first sight! This was the perfect place to let everything go, to let go and let God.

Shortly after the Process began I had a major insight. I realized that my whole spiritual journey had been a long series of “efforts” to “let go”, to “surrender to Grace”. How completely absurd! “Effort” is willful and ego driven, the opposite of “surrender”. I realized that it is not even in my power to surrender. It requires Grace to surrender to Grace. It requires Grace to even call on the Divine Presence. Even that is a gift. So, I just kicked back and relaxed and enjoyed the ride. It is all up to the Divine Presence. I knew that I was absolutely HELPLESS! There was nothing I could do to help the Process, but there was also nothing I could do to hinder it. There is no way to blow it, no way to make a mistake. Everything is part of the Process. The Divine is in complete control. There are no choices, no free will, just the will of the Divine.

I learned that my mind is not my mind. My thoughts are not my thoughts. The Mind is ancient. There is only one. It is the same for everyone, but it does not belong to us. You cannot change it or enlighten it. Bhagavan says that when it strikes you that no change is possible then you are free. In the Process I came to experience by the Grace of God that the Mind can go on being just what it is. I cannot transform it, silence it or make it go away. But by the grace of God, for I cannot make this happen, but by the Grace of God I experience the mind “declutching”. So, while it goes on as it is, I am not bothered by it, and I come to rest in the Presence of God. I call this Spiritual Awareness. The “thought stream” keeps right on flowing by (sometimes even through) me, but they are not “my” thoughts. They don’t bother me. Sometimes they just flow by. Sometimes they fly through my head. But they can’t stick, and I know they aren’t mine. Ah…, the Peace, the profound Silence! No matter what is happening: noise, conflict, thoughts, chaos, whatever… there is still Peace, there is always Silence in the Divine Presence.

I also learned my body is not my body. My body belongs to the Universe of which it is made. It’s not mine, and it’s really on automatic. When I was giving Oneness Deeksha to someone after the Process, I asked Amma and Bhagavan if it was time to remove my hands from the receiver’s head. They said “Go ahead and try to move them.” I couldn’t move them at all for the longest time. I just laughed and laughed. It was completely out of my control. Once before the Process Bhagavan dissolved me in the Divine Presence while I was stopped at a traffic light. I couldn’t find my body or the car. I said, “Bhagavan, the light is going to change soon. I need my body.” Just as the light turned green, I was back in my body and it began to drive the car quite well all by itself.

So then, who am I? The answer to that one is really quite entertaining. As the Oneness Deeksha energy slowed down my senses, I saw that what I understood to be my “self” was actually a parade of non-contiguous personalities arising and then vanishing into the Divine Presence. The only permanent thing is the Divine Presence itself. These personalities are just images, bits of memory with an emotional charge. As they lose their charge, by the Grace of God, they are really funny to watch as they arise and disappear, one after another, sometimes several at the same time. There is the craving personality, the self-conscious one, the shy one, the outgoing one, the guilty one, the confident one, the scheming one, etc. etc. In the space between them and underlying them I simply enjoy being absorbed in the Divine Presence. When I am absorbed in the Divine Presence there is no “self”!

One participant who experienced this said that realizing there is no “self” to be enlightened IS enlightenment. Then, here’s the next question. If there is no “self” to be enlightened, who is watching the personalities arise and dissolve? Who is the One that is aware of and enjoying the Divine Presence if there is no “self”? This was the really big revelation for me, the high point of my whole 21 Day Process! By sheer Grace I experienced profoundly that it is the Divine Presence in me experiencing its-Self! The Divine Presence is awakening in me, becoming aware of its-Self in me, experiencing and enjoying its-Self in me and in all Creation! God is falling in love with God in me! It’s the ultimate romance! God and Man are two ends of the same reality, two ends of the same Experience. You could actually say that there is no Experience-r or Experience-d, only the Experiencing, only Divine Awareness. At this point there was a shift in my experience of the Divine. I began to profoundly experience God as my Father. My Father and I are One. I am convinced that this is what Christ Himself experienced!

Nothing exists outside of the Divine Presence. God is all there is. Even conflict and struggle is God. All is God. God, God, God, God, God! That’s all there is, all there was, and all there will ever be!

Then there was the Oneness Deeksha Givers initiation. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Maha Deeksha! Bliss, thunder and lightning! This is what we came for! One Being, many people. The Oneness Family! I’m home! This simply must be experienced. No words will suffice. Thank you Amma Bhagavan!!! May Golden Oneness Deeksha waves of the Divine Presence sweep the world and make us all One, make all hearts flower. OM Shanti Shanti Shanti.

3 days after the 21 Day Process ended I was fortunate to have a personal Darshan with Amma. This was pure Grace since it was Ganesh’s birthday and Amma was not giving Darshan to any Westerners. As I knelt touching her feet, to my surprise, she smiled, looked into my eyes and spoke freely, asking me where I was from, about the 21 Day Process and how long I would be staying in India. I thanked her for everything she and Bhagavan have done. I told her of my desire to deepen, to give my life in service, and of my vision to start a Oneness Center in the US (Tampa Bay area). I told her that I need her blessing and financial grace in order to do so. She said “Yes. Yes.” and gave me her blessing. Then, to my utter astonishment, because I didn’t ask for it, Amma added “I am giving you the Power. From this day forward, I will always be with you and my Power will flow through you...” After the Darshan I felt a quantum shift in my being and in the power flowing through my life. Since then, I’ve given Oneness Deeksha to over 2 thousand people right here in India. The more I give, the stronger it becomes. I wonder what will happen when I get home.

There is just so much more to tell, but this testimony would turn into a book: the wonderful people I’ve met from all over the world, our visit to the Oneness Temple, meditations with the Cosmic Beings, many special super-powerful Oneness Deekshas, group Darshans with Amma and Bhagavan, and Anandaloka 1 where I have been staying in a thatched roof hut since the 21 Day Process ended and where several times we have listened to Bhagavan teach for hours. During the last few weeks at Anandaloka 1, right before our very eyes, Bhagavan has given literally hundreds of indigenous Indian people "Mukthi", the gift of Liberation from the interference of the Mind and of Awakening to Oneness. Jaya Bhagavan!

I am just so happy! So VERY VERY VERY HAPPY! All I can say is: Thank you Amma Bhagavan!!! Thank you for causeless love, joy and peace! May my life be poured out in service of the Divine!

For the rest of the story, click:

Deeper Into Oneness:

My Experience of the Advanced Deepening Course

 

 

Click here to read Michael's profile:

Bio of Rev. Dr. Michael Milner, Ph.D.

 

 

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